A colossus freight liner taken by six guys in a dinghy and a few “rockets”?  Sounds like the ole’  ”box cutter in the cockpit” line to me.

The perfect story  has been constructed once again:  Pull at the heart strings of Americans by conducting a “rescue” of a captain. Sob.   

Next, leave all of the other sailors from other countries (like the Phillipines) leave them there in “captivity”.  Why?  To show the world not to fuck with us.  Our bad-ass military can rescue our own people. But not the other guys!  They can’t rescue their own sailors because they  are weak as hell!  Besides, they didn’t show up for rehearsal.

Enter the U.S. lawmaker, Donald Payne, who is there on a one day visit.  Stage an attempt to explode his fucking tie off.  But somehow the shots miss (because you know bullets can EASILY penetrate the steel of a plane) and he lands safely in Kenya. Death just misses him.  Now the Somalis are really crazy! Whoa!  Exit stage left.

Suddenly Somalia is the focus, with Payne asserting that “a stable Somalia is really a key to a stable Africa.”  Oh really? Shall we ignore the Congo, Kenya, Zimbabwe, Cote d’Ivoire?  All on the fringe of civil unrest, utter poverty and starvation?  Why Somalia? Because of one greasy word that rhymes with turmoil.

Then, create a new “threat” in order to set the stage for more military presence, more negotiations, more oil, oh… this is tiring.

Can you see the director?  ”Okay Somali pirates, don’t say your lines too fast.  And when you see the rescue forces coming, act really surprised.  And remember, a few of you might die, okay?  But like we agreed upon, your families will be rewarded with the dollars for years to come.”

Ah, just like the movies…

Due to my own reluctance to bring extraneous objects into my home and my newly heightened eco-consciousness, I have gathered a list of some of the best party favor ideas.  So if you must go to the dollar rack at Target or the toy section at the 99 Cents store, you must.  It is not the perfect solution, but if you are interested in providing a treat with a little longevity (which the kids can actually appreciate) and/or reduce the mark on our beloved Madre Tierra, then consider these:

1) Have your little guests decorate a small terracotta pot with paint. Glue pebbles, twigs, leaves. Whatever, basically. Provide them with a little baggy of seeds (morning glory or nasturtium is a sure shot). When the glue and paint is dried, plant and water the seeds right there at the party! 

2) Burn each guest a cd of your child’s favorite ten songs. They can decorate a cd case if you’re really feelin’ crazy!  Try gluing gemstones, stickers, paper cutouts of their own artwork.  I love this gift. When you think about it, it is a very nice gift considering each download is about $1 (unless you’re a ripper- but we’ll talk about that later. good- for- nothins. stealing food from my baby’s mouth. grrrr…)

And, the greenest gift of all:

3) Donate to a charity on your guest’s behalf. Provide them with a nice note or little card that explains what you have done. ie:

                            Just for showing up to “so and so’s” party, you have become a part of our favorite charity “save the canaries”. We have donated $4 in your honor!

Provide some interesting information about the charity you have chosen. Perhaps a fascinating fact about birds (but nothing depressing like 80,000 canaries are killed each year). Remember, it’s a party, Debbie Downer.

It may be nice to explain what will happen on the invitation. This is similar to wedding invitations that direct you to a registry or make special requests like vegan or organic products only that honor and reflect their lifestyle.

ie: In an attempt to be eco-conscious, in lieu of party favors, we will be donating $4 to a special charity for each guest who arrives . Thank You. 

A great website that provides information on various charities is charitynavigator.

But really, don’t feel obligated to give any party favors.  The party is the favor.  Any parent knows how much even the most simple parties can cost.  And, any eco-conscious parent like myself will understand the opt-out choice.

P.S. If you have any other ideas to share please post it in the comments. Peace.

When is the last time your child got a chance to see all of the awesome things she or he has?  Do you even know how much stuff your kid has?

We all know that too many things in our homes and in our lives can be very distracting.  It can induce chaotic living and create more work for tired parents.  The burden of too many toys (and yes, it is a burden) can quickly kill a child’s ability to create and pretend while using only few objects and a whole lot of imagination.

 (This last sentence may be the antithesis to the product placement-laden movie “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium).  But anyway, we all know Hollywood is not primarily concerned with the preservation and exaltation of childhood imagination. 

I remember playing with aluminum foil dolls and leaves on the playground with my best friend.  Believe me, more toys does not mean more fun.  

As a parent, I can’t even remember all of the conversations that go something like this:

Rrrring. “Hello?”

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m cleaning out Willy’s toy closet and I swear, it’s taking forever. There’s just too much sh** in this house.”

“I know what you mean. If I get another baggy of 99 Cents Store crap I’ll scream.”

Parents like these are tired. They want simple. They want their children to play. On their own. Possibly for hours.

Then I give my fellow parents some of my tips for sifting through the toyish nightmare.  After following these 4 simple steps,  I guarantee children will have a revitalized relationship with their space and personal property.  

So what do you do? Simply put: Get rid of stuff. Every several months take inventory and get rid of it.

This is an activity that should be done WITH your child.  It will teach your child how to recognize which items in their lives have meaning. It will teach them which ones don’t. Secondly, it teaches them how to let go of material objects with ease and grace. Thirdly, when you donate the items they don’t want (and, more importantly, don’t need) it plants a seed of charitable thinking:
          

1)  Sit on the floor with your child and dump out containers and drawers one at a time.  Have a trash container and a donation box near by and explain to your child what these are for.

2)  Gather all similar toys and have your child choose which ones she or he wants to keep.  But you give him the number. Remember, you are the rule-maker.  For instance, if there are 5 Barbies, say, “Okay, now choose your favorite 2.”    If there are 15 “Pet Shop” toys, cut it down to about 7. A good rule is to get it down to about less than half the amount.

        Always start with a low number so you have room for occasional negotiations when your child simply cannot let go of all 3 dolls. 

3)  Have your CHILD place the toys in the appropriate container. This is part of the learning process.  They are making a physical connection to the act of letting things go.

4)  As you go along you and your child gather all similar sized objects into a separate section ie: doll shoes, jacks, gumball machine trinkets, and start the elimination process again. Make sure the tiny tiny things end up stored in a separate little container.

5)  Make sure you are giving an abundance of praise while you go through this process.  And remember, this may be harder for some children.  Every time they make a choice, say something like “I really like how you know which toys you like better. There are a lot of good ones, but you have made some great choices.” And praise their enthusiasm to give to charity: “I’m sure someone will really like to play with this.”  If they are not enthusiastic, just recognize their feelings and move on.  Do not panic and think your child is a greedy toy hogger. 

6)   Last but not least, do not question your child’s decision to let go of a certain toy.  Sometimes our own inner child will scream, “Wait! I love that Strawberry Shortcake house! We can’t give that away!” 

This just proves that this is as much an exercise in letting go for us as it is for the wee ones.

Now, sit back and watch the magic playtime happen.